Ex-boyfriend reverses his $35K payment on his ex-girlfriend's student loans after she demands he pays off her sister's $42K loans: 'She's telling everyone I "stole" from her and her family'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 4, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

You should not be paying off your boyfriend or girlfriend's debt. I don't care if they're struggling to pay it off or are constantly implying that you should be helping them out. It's a whole different story if you're married and have made a commitment to each other romantically, spiritually, and financially, merging your financial situations into one entity. But if you give your girlfriend $40K to pay off her student loans, she can just break up with you the next day, and you'll be down $40K. That situation is more common than we'd like to believe it is. 

It's one thing to ask someone in your life for help, but it's totally different to demand that they pay off a loan that you willingly signed up for. Especially a loan that your partner didn't even take out. Instead, it's the loan of your partner's relative. How is that your responsibility? 

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  • The man in this story was pressured to pay off his girlfriend's sister's student loan debt after he already paid off hers. He decided enough was enough after they broke up, and he reversed the payment he made on his ex's loan, which unsurprisingly made her angrier than a bull in the ring. 

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10489748736
    via Scott Graham

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITAH for reversing the student loan payment I made for my ex-girlfriend?

    So a couple weeks ago I posted about how I (28M) broke up with my GF (26F) after she demanded I pay off her sister's $42K in loans after already paying off her $35K loans. Y'all overwhelmingly said NTA and suggested I reverse the payment.
    via u/OfficeReasonable2093
  • 03
    Well, I did exactly that. Called the loan servicer, explained the situation, and was able to get the $35K payment reversed. My ex absolutely LOST IT when she found out - blowing up my phone with 50+ texts calling me every name in the book.
    via u/OfficeReasonable2093
  • 04
    She's telling everyone I "stole" from her and her family is threatening legal action (lol good luck). Her sister even showed up at my apartment screaming about how I "ruined their plans" - whatever that means.
    via u/OfficeReasonable2093
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    Cheezburger Image 10489751040
    via engin akyurt

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06
    My friends are split - half think it was savage but justified, others think I should've just walked away without taking the money back. But honestly, the fact they immediately started planning how to spend my money on the sister confirms I made the right call.
    via u/OfficeReasonable2093
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    via Alexander Mils (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08
    So AITAH for taking back money that was clearly part of a manipulation scheme?
    via u/OfficeReasonable2093
  • 09
    Loop_Adjacent So glad to read this update. They acted entitled to your money before and after all of this. Go treat yourself, get a new phone number and put cameras up at your place. Save all the texts in case u need to go the legal route with the harassment.
    via u/Loop_Adjacent
  • 10
    MohlleyBaby5 NTA. You reversed a $35k loan payment you made for your ex after she demanded you pay her sister's $42k loans. They are mad?!! But it was your money. They were manipulating you.
    via u/MohlleyBaby5
  • 11
    Butterfly_Chasers To be honest, I'm surprised they actually reversed the payment. Normally, once a debtor has money applied to a debt, they don't generally let it go without a fight.
    via u/Butterfly_Chasers
  • 12
    AngeLBelle4 Wow, 35k? That's a lot of money. I can't believe they expected you to just hand it over, and then ask for even more! Good for you for getting it back, honestly.
    via u/AngeLBelle4
  • 13
    Nymph-the-scribe As much of a pain in the a as it is, don't get a new number, or at least leave the old number functioning. Do so for documentation purposes. If any kind of legal action is needed, from a restraining order to court defense, having every syllable, every missed call, every voicemail is crucial. Definitely put cameras up. Don't respond to any message. Don't answer any call. Don't post anything on social media. If they come in person,
    via u/Nymph-the-scribe
  • 14
    instantly start recording and calmly say, "we have nothing to talk about. Please go away and leave me alone. You are threatening and harassing me, and I will take appropriate actions if you don't quit," and walk away. Don't respond to whatever any of them say other than to say, "Leave me alone, get away from me, stop harassing me." Go into CYA mode. It also couldn't hurt to get a free consult with a lawyer just to see what could happen as well as what you should do in order to continue to CYA.
    via u/Nymph-the-scribe
  • 15
    CaliPirate NTA. Exgf messed with the wrong dude. Savage is what she deserved.
    via u/CaliPirate
  • 16
    Sierralilyy Dude, they were straight up trying to use u as their personal bank. And the fact they immediately started planning to spend ur money on her sister? That's not love, that's a heist. The audacity of them calling it "stealing" is wild. They tried to steal from u. U just took back what was rightfully urs. Let them threaten legal action, they have no leg to stand on. They're just mad they got caught. U did the right thing. Don't let them guilt trip u for a second.
    via u/Sierralilyy
  • 17
    Feralfaith They were straight up trying to use u as a human ATM. And their reaction? Just proves they were never in it for anything real. They're screaming about “stealing” when they were trying to steal ur money, Imao. The sister showing up at ur apartment? That's harassment. They're all showing their true colors, and they're ugly. U did the right thing. They wanted to play games, and now they're finding out they can't win. Let them cry about it. They're lucky u didn't press charges.
    via u/Feralfaith
  • 18
    1kiga1 Wow, you turned the tables on a real-life episode of 'Who Wants to Be a Manipulator?' At least now you know that money can't buy love or sanity.
    via u/1kiga1_
  • 19
    LetsGetsThisPartyOn Never ever heard of any type of loan company reversing a payment. If this is true. Niiiiice works
    via u/LetsGetsThisPartyOn
  • 20
    with_a_stick Can confirm that I was able to reverse a payment on my student loans before.
    via u/with_a_stick
  • 21
    Jaxonman21 Can confirm, I literally work for a student loan company and we reverse payments often. Getting the money back can take awhile, but you will get it back
    via u/Jaxonman21
  • 22
    neatfreak1517 Really? Why would they do that knowing they got paid? They would just give it back?
    via u/neatfreak1517
  • 23
    jimdil4st Saves them from losing charge backs which are way worse than nonpayment. If they are very compliant when mistakes are made then if someone does try to charge back through the bank they're less likely to be accepted.
    via u/jimdil4st
  • 24
    Bkseneca Thank you for posting this update. I am very happy to hear you reversed the payment. Your (now ex) girlfriend showed you who she really was and that is someone who does not deserve your kindness and generosity with such a windfall. Keep the money to make your own life more secure.
    via u/Bkseneca
  • 25
    18k_gold Awesome you got your money back. The sisters plan was to rob you and you ruined it for them. How dare you!! Let the family sue you, they have no case. She FAFO now she has to pay her loan back, she got greedy. Block and move on. The friends that said you should have just let her have the money, well they are welcome to pay hers and her sisters loan payments. Tell them you will give your ex their contact info.
    via u/18k_gold

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Tags

boyfriend toxic relationships sisters siblings paying relationships girlfriend debt entitled people karma sister student debt payment money toxic relationship entitled people
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